POLITICAL PRESCIENCE OR PROGNOSTICATION?

So here's my prediction: In 2012, Democrats will win back the House, and keep both the Presidency and the Senate. Time, and not much time at that, will tell whether I am prognosticating--just predicting what I think will happen, or being prescient, knowing how it will all turn out before the actual election.

Here's just a few of the reasons I have made this assessment:

1. The Paul Ryan plan, passed by House Republicans, to dramatically change the one thing 78% of Americans say they don't want changed, Medicare. It may be brave of Ryan to finally put entitlements on the table, but it was done with so little preparation, and as such an obvious pandering to Tea Partiers, that more Republicans are likely to lose their seats over having voted for it than Democrats did for backing Obamacare in the 2010 midterms.

2. By 2012, many Americans will see that some major Obama decisions, like rescuing General Motors and Chrysler, were brilliant successes. Chrysler has paid back its government loans with interest, and thousands of jobs were saved in both companies.

3. Like a tiny circus car disgorging its crowded passenger load of clowns, more and more ridiculous Republican comments will reveal the party to be in thrall to the most extreme aspects of its lunatic fringe. What a fun sitcom we could have starring Newt Gingrich, Donald Trump, Michelle Bachman, Sarah Palin, and Mitt Romney as the straight man (as in butt of jokes rather than sexual preference). I like Jay Leno's line that Republicans have certainly turned around from their old family oriented image with three-time married aspiring candidates like Trump, Gingrich, and Guliani--and Mitt Romney has only had one wife and he's the Mormon!

4. Since many, perhaps most, Americans are basically fair-minded, there will, I also predict, be a backlash against the unprecedented and often racially motivated attacks on Obama, including the insidious birther movement.

5. Republicans do tend to have political death wishes. How else to explain Newt's catastrophic first week, and his announcement that his third wife Calista will be a full partner on the campaign trail. And Pawlenty's railing against ethanol gas subsidies when he'd have to win Iowa to have a real shot at being nominated. And Mitt Romney's defending his Massachusetts precursor to Obamacare to Republican audiences.

6. Republicans with great popular support and reputations for honesty and competence, such as Chris Christie, Mitch Daniels, Haley Barbour, and Mike Huckabee, have been rushing for the exits. They are likely to be replaced by such quirky candidates as Bachman and Texas governor Rick Perry, whose main claim to fame is that he floated a trial balloon to have Texas secede from the U.S. Of course, there is Herman Cain, but I think after the dismal performance of Michael Steel as the first African-American GOP chairman, the party may be unwilling to support another person of color. And all those attacks on Obama as someone "not like us," "possibly born somewhere else," "uppity," indicate a deep well of anti-black feeling at the core of the party. After all, it has proudly worn the mantle of the party of the "White Rich Christian Guys." Besides, though he makes some good rhetorical points, the former CEO of Godfather Pizza has never been elected to anything, and candidates with no electoral experience whatsoever have never won a presidential nomination.

7. Obama, after some rocky times, is on an upswing and this is likely to continue over the next 18 months. All historical experience has shown that pessimism and cynicism are temporary events in the national mood.

8. Republicans have missed the boat, not capitalizing on their momentum from 2010, not figuring out how to take advantage of the populism of the Tea Party movement, or assimilate the Tea Party House members into the party fold. Lots of pandering, lots of missed opportunities, lots of cowardice in not confronting their extreme elements. Their time has passed, at least for this historical moment.

9. It seems commonsensible to presume that some of those tens of millions of uninsured Americans scheduled for coverage under Obamacare will vote for the man who finally delivered on the promise of healthcare for everyone. Also, there is Obama's core constituency of young adults under 26 who are now covered by their parents' medical insurance.

Of course, this is just my personal opinion and prediction after 50 years of observation, including 12 as a broadcast journalist. I promise I'll do a post after election day 2012, and either gloat or eat crow, depending on the outcome.

Jerry

While this blog focuses on everything from politics to humor to sex and relationships, my other blog is all about prosperity consciousness. Check it out at:

http://www.MoneyloveBlog.com

MY ODE TO THE END THAT WASN'T

Apocalypse Day has come and gone.

Did you get your Rapture on?

The world's still here, sonofagun,

but we had some Rapture fun.

Did you dance like there's no tomorrow?

which might have been cause for sorrow.

But alas, it didn't come to pass,

Each doomsayer proved an ass.

So much for Mayan accuracy,

Do they think they're the GOP?

Lots of bargains at garage sales

as the sinners prepared to bail.

Maybe this was just a practice run,

With October or December the real fun.

If you're still ready to give up on life.

Please give me your house, and maybe your wife,

your bank account and young adult daughter,

so I can trade them for bottles of water,

and lots of canned food, including Spam

and then announce, "Prepared I am,"

For whatever survivalists and Mayans predict,

On whatever Apocalypse date they pick,

Dark chocolate will be filling my shelves

in case we're attacked by doomsday elves

Or a huge volcano decides to erupt,

or a giant hole opens up,

or the floods start to really flow

with no help from a modern Noah

How could he build another Ark

when he can't even find a place to park?

But now we're here another day

free to go on our merry way

Charlie Sheen will complete his collapse

And so will Donald Trump's synapse

Michelle Bachman will say something stupid

Hugh Hefner will keep worshipping Cupid

Arnold Schwarzeneggar will keep being wild

Perhaps fathering Lindsay Lohan's child.

And we can keep hugging everyone near,

Ahhh Shucks, the world's still here.

Jerry Gillies

May 21, 2011

P.S.

Mark 13:32 "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."

IMMIGRATION REFORM FOR YOUR MIND

So here's my brand new rule:

Any entrepreneur, marketing guru, newsletter publisher, seller of coaching, courses, books or audios who emails me more than once a week is going to be either unsubscribed or automatically deleted without opening--forevermore.

Why? Because we all need to have the same comprehensive immigration plan many are advocating for the U.S. government. We need to figure out what to do with the tons of information that has already come in, and ways of being selective about what is bombarding our minds on a daily, make that hourly basis. We need to set up borders and border controls. And you get to decide what kind of control you want to assert, but you need to stop leaving it up to others to decide for you.

Tighter border security is a must. Too much useless, time-consuming, repetitious, and deceptive material is inundating our emails and our brains. I'm been campaigning for a long time on the need for all of us to exercise more selectivity, discrimination, and wisdom in deciding what we let in.

I also have been have been eliminating old emails from my files. Most marketing programs and internet gurus and ebook and webinar producers get my alternate email address, and in just a few months, I had built up a collection of 11,000 unread emails. True, some might have interesting or entertaining or even useful information. But I don't have a staff to go through them all, and can't see a window to do so considering how much new stuff is constantly flowing in. So I adopted another rule that says anything I haven't opened or done anything about in ninety days gets deleted. And I started off this new immigration policy by deleting all 11,000 emails from that address. What a freeing, uplifting message I now get:

There are no emails in your Inbox folder

Most of all I'm excited that I now have room for the really important, joyful, wonderful stuff.

I have friends who are imprisoned by the sheer glut of their email Inboxes. One told me she hadn't read one of my emails that had some time relevant information I knew she wanted and needed--she was three weeks behind in opening any emails at all. So a new mantra in this regard might be:

GUT THE GLUT!

Jerry

Check out my prosperity blog at:

http://www.MoneyloveBlog.com

TURNING POINTS

I don't know how interesting it is to anyone else, but right now my life is the most fascinating it's ever been for me. Probably this is because I'm in a period of turning points--activities and events and projects that could lead me in any number of different directions. We all have these, and I believe the best way to experience them is to be as open as possible to all that is possible.

In some ways, I feel like I felt in my 20s and 30s, where all things were possible and I felt I was doing exactly what I should be doing in the moment, but wasn't quite sure where it would all lead. I recently saw several reports on the new research that says people reach their greatest level of happiness and joy in their eighties. I think I would have scoffed at that in my 30s and 40s, but don't now.

If we're lucky, I think we do learn how to savor life more, how to appreciate the good things, minimize the bad, and take it all in with a smile in our hearts. Mostly, I feel more creative and productive than I did thirty years ago. "Grow" is the operative word here in "growing older."

I suppose part of this is that I am in areas of endeavor that age well, mostly to do with writing and reflective thinking. And there are results from these endeavors that let me know I am not being delusional in thinking all this.

For instance, a few days ago I got an email from one of the cartoonists I started writing cartoon gags for in the early days of my incarceration. Roy Delgado told me Readers Digest had approached him about doing some animal cartoons, and he asked if I could come up with a few to send him, so he could draw up ones he liked, and then submit them to the magazine. I amazed myself by producing 26 animal gags in less than an hour. Roy liked 8 of them. And I now get the pleasure of anticipating how he will illustrate these, and how Readers Digest will respond, and eventually the possibility of their buying some, thus earning a modest fee. One of my favorites I already posted on Facebook, and may even use in another potential career choice/change: stand-up comedy:

SCENE: A man speaks to his wife as he comes home carrying a gecko in a pet carrier.

CAPTION: "Would you believe GEICO won't insure our gecko?"

In addition to writing several posts a week for my two blogs, coming up with mostly new ideas on prosperity for my Moneylove Club monthly audio series, writing cartoons, stand-up, and outlining episodes I want to include in my future one man show, I am looking at exactly what kind of public talks and seminars I want to present when I am off parole later this year and can get a passport and travel beyond California for the first time in fifteen years. There is no doubt this creative multitasking is possible because of all the meditating and inner work I did while in prison.

I see this cornucopia of turning points in my life as an amazing opportunity to have the next segment be more fulfilling and more fun than any that preceded it. Of course this involves some diligence on my part--making sure I don't try to focus on more things than I can handle at any one time.

For right now, I am in a preparatory phase--checking out my skills and talents in several arenas, getting ready to explore more, and acting as my own air traffic controller for all the ideas flying about in my consciousness. As these evolve, I will decide where to focus and put my major energy. Serving me well then will be my Ninety Day Trial Period strategy. This is giving myself one major project for ninety days. And then deciding whether to stick with it or move to something else, based on results.

As I contemplate all these potential turning points in my life, I also am aware of a Big Truth that has been reaffirmed many times in my past. If I stay open and aware, I may end up on a path I can't begin to imagine right now--something totally different from all the areas I am now considering and exploring.

It's actually satisfying and invigorating for me to wake up each morning not only with robust expectations, but with no idea of what I will be doing a year from now. Or where I will be doing it, or whom I might be doing it with. Oh, there are some clues, but like in any good mystery, there could really be some major twists and turns in the story.

Jerry

My other blog focuses on prosperity, so check it out.

http://www.MoneyloveBlog.com

WORLD LAUGHTER DAY!

So the cartoon shows an airport security post with one guard speaking to another as a beautiful woman in a medieval gown is ready to go through the archway. "She wants to know if she has to remove her chastity belt to go through?"

Hurray! It's World Laughter Day, which is designated as the first Sunday in May each year. This one is the best one of my life by far. I am now involved in three vocations/avocations designed to promote laughter among the masses--or even the select group of chosen ones who read this blog.

If you're a regular visitor here, you know I've been writing cartoon gags for years. I started as a young disc jockey for a part-time activity to occupy myself during commercial breaks. Coming up with a description of the cartoon, and the caption, submitting it to a magazine cartoonists, having them draw up the ones they selected, then send them to magazines for possible acceptance, and hopefully receiving a 25% share of the fee because they were sold. After many years of writing books and doing seminars, I got back to this gagwriting activity while in prison, doing a number of the Howard Huge gags for PARADE magazine, plus cartoon gags that eventually appeared in Saturday Evening Post, Playboy, Wall St. Journal, Harvard Business Review, etc.

Just recently, I've been focused on writing and performing some stand-up comedy, such as:

What does an atheist text instead of OMG?

Dogs now have their own Social Network called ButtBook.com

My girlfriend asked me the other night, after a bout of passionate lovemaking, "Was it good for you?" I said, "It must have been, it didn't even wake me up."

Computers are making newspapers obsolete. Unfortunately, it's very expensive laying a bunch of iPads on the floor to housebreak your dog.

Well, I didn't say I was the world's greatest stand-up comedian or comedy writer, but as a fledgling, I'm quite satisfied with the laughs I get.

Finally, I am fulfilling a longtime aspiration by working on writing and performing a one man theatre piece, which would be funny and serious reflections on my life, including my 12 years in prison, 2 years traveling with a girlfriend in a motorhome, 3 years living in a sex commune, 12 years as a broadcast journalist, and 25 years as a workshop leader and motivational speaker and author of six self-help books. My main task will be editing it all down from its current 47 hour performing length.

I've accelerated my plans for the one man show as a result of discovering the Marsh, two theaters--one in San Francisco and one in Berkeley--that develop, nurture, and present solo performances. I'm taking an eight week class starting in June with the highly acclaimed performer, director, and teacher, Charlie Varon. This will culminate in a twenty minute solo performance one evening at the SF venue. And this should give me an idea if my life is interesting enough to sustain an entire evening's entertainment the way I remember it, write it, and perform it.

http://www.CharlieVaron.com

http://www.TheMarsh.org

So what can you do to celebrate World Laughter Day? CDs and videos of my shows are not available yet (check in 2012), but there's an awful lot of funny stuff online.

You could do worse (a lot worse) than the following three sites nominated for a Webby award as best humor websites this year:

http://www.FunnyOrDie.com

http://www.CollegeHumor.com

http://www.TheOnion.com

Also, a site I was introduced to by friend, Richie Levine, who often performs on it, and always makes me smile or giggle:

http://www.OldJewsTellingJokes.com

Here's hoping your World Laughter Day goes on all year. Remember:

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you get your own reality TV show."

Jerry

On a more serious note, check out my other blog, focused on prosperity:

http://www.MoneyloveBlog.com

FUNDAY AS THE 8TH DAY OF THE WEEK

Sunday, Funday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday...what a great sounding week we could have!

I hereby start the official campaign to have a new day. Now, I know some people have been calling Sunday "Funday", but that's just wasting the energy and desire to finally change our calendar in a 21st Century way. Everything has changed but this ancient attachment to a seven day week. And who hasn't said or felt at some time and for some time that "There are just not enough days in the week!"

All that is required is to divide the hours of the week up into eight 21 hour days. This would be in alignment with the sun, the stars, and all other mathematical factors at the foundation of our current calendar.

Being a new construct, we could give Funday some special, beneficial significance, and not just let it slide into habitual labeling, such as Saturday "date night," Sunday "day of rest," Monday as "blue Monday." Funday could be just what its name implies, a day of fun between our day or rest and the first day of the work week. We could establish some original rules at the onset. On Funday, we would all make a real effort not to do anything that wasn't fun, wasn't pleasurable, didn't make us smile or laugh.

And the unemployment problem would be solved in a snap. Think of all the work for calendar designers and printers, watch and clock makers, computer technicians. Think of a regular three day weekend, and even more to talk about around the water cooler at work, "And what did you do this Funday?"

Maybe we could get Rebecca Black to record a sequel to her viral hit, Friday, called Funday, Funday. Well, maybe not, though she has certainly has been having a lot of fun with all of us.

Whole new businesses could spring up to sell us fun services and products to use on Funday. And when we ask someone out on a date for Funday, it would be mutually understood that this was not meant to lead to a serious relationship.

Any hurtful things we do or say on Funday would be automatically excused by,

"I was just kidding--after all, it's Funday!"

I'm sure you can come up with your own creative ideas that would make this new day special. How about a rule that if you're caught frowning on Funday, you have to hug ten strangers? And you're given permission to go off your healthy tofu-based diet and have all the hot dogs, funnel cakes, cotton candy, and chocolate covered frozen bananas you want. And even in the fanciest restaurants, food fights would be permitted on Funday.

Composers and performers would have a field day creating new songs with Funday in the title, as there now are for the seven other days of the week. "A Funday kind of love." The titles would certainly be more cheerful than "Blue Monday," or "Stormy Monday." A few suggestions:

My Funday Valentine

My Funny Funday Love

I've Got Those Funday Giggles

(the opening line for this one, "I've got those Funday giggles, every time my lover wiggles. Smiling in our Snuggies, as our baby poops its Huggies.")

This whole idea has definitely lightened up my Monday. Think on it, but not too seriously, please.

Jerry

Even creating prosperity can be fun. Check my other blog:

http://www.MoneyloveBlog.com

SIZE MATTERS

WARNING: This post rated R for content and rambunctiousness.

So let's talk about male enhancement. At least that's what the woman with the raspy, very sexy voice wanted to talk about when she called me first thing this morning. At first, because their voices are similar, I thought it was a former girlfriend of mine who often calls very late at night--and I said, "I can't believe you're calling me in the morning instead of the middle of the night." And the sexy voice said, "I'd be happy to call you in the middle of the night if you'd prefer it."

She then said she wanted to talk to me about something that would improve my life, and my size. I said I wasn't interested, in fact I was looking for something that would cut down my size as the petite women I preferred were always complaining of pain. She then said, "You're going to hang up on me now, aren't you?" I said, "Not quite yet--first I want to tell you how much I enjoy your sexy voice, and that I wish you a very sexy weekend, and now I'm going to gently and lovingly hang up on you."

But it did remind me of a realization I had quite recently, having watched a number of independent and foreign films on Netflix--many of which feature full frontal nudity of both men and women. For the most part, these men are of average, modest size. I wondered whether they were chosen for these roles because they would not intimidate men watching, or raise expectations of women watching. On the other hand, in porn, the men are so well endowed that I wonder why any man of normal proportions would want to watch them perform.

I have seen a lot of naked men--in the military, in prison showers, living in a sex commune, attending and even conducting a number of all-nude massage workshops, and attending some weekend workshops where nudity was part of the opening up experience. So I know from much observation that most men are not anywhere near the size of porn actors. It still, however, seems to be an issue for many men. Just as women are insecure about the size and shape of their breasts, men wonder if size really matters to a woman. In my experience and my opinion? Only for a small fraction of women, some of whom even join organizations devoted to women who like 'em big.

In one of my stand-up segments, I talk about receiving many emails advertising, at a discount, dozens of devices and supplements guaranteed to make a man's penis dramatically larger. And I also get many emails from various members of Nigerian royalty offering me large sums of money. In the past week, this added up to about $37 million. And here's my question for men: If you had $37 million, would you really need a bigger penis?

A further opinion: size does matter, but only the size of your bank account.

Now if only some sexy-voiced woman would call me up and offer a deal on a product devoted to laughter and joy enhancement.

Jerry