Tuesday, June 25, 2013


In working with some coaching clients, I noticed that almost everyone has something they are holding onto in their consciousness that is holding them back from their own momentum and creative surge. In one case, it was the old family home that didn’t seem to be selling easily, in another it was a bitter and vengeful ex-wive, but the divorce had been twenty years earlier. In still another, it was $20,000 a friend owed my client and seemed unlikely to ever be able to pay back.
And, though it surprises me this realization came upon me so recently, I could not think of a single thing that ever prevented me from going on to my next stage in life. Or at least nothing that leaps out at me at the moment. So, I can assume that I am either pretty free of these encumbrances, or that mine are so deeply hidden that I haven’t been aware of them at a conscious level.

Here’s the thing. None of these events or assets or liabilities are worth losing sleep over, and they are certainly not worth allowing them to get in the way of our dreams and aspirations. Every moment spent remembering, worrying, stressing over something that has hold of us emotionally and won’t let go, is a moment not devoted to becoming who we are meant to be. After all, who’s in charge here?  

It isn’t about these issues and objects not letting go, it’s about our having some inner compulsion to keep them around. Once we realize the damage they are doing to our path forward, like big tree stumps in the road of love and life, we will gather together whatever resources it takes to remove them, like dynamite (metaphorically speaking, of course).
Get rid ofthe old wife!  Forgive the debt!  Get on with your life!

Wait a minute, I do remember an infatuation that had me tied up in confusion and indecision for about 18 months. Jessica went back to her old boyfriend, and I had been certain she was the ideal woman for me. I got really sappy about it, listening to every song I could find about misguided and unrequited love. My favorite was Michael Feinstein singing Irving Berlin’s Putting All Your Eggs in One Basket, which had certainly described what I had done with my emotions concerning Jessica. 

I don’t even remember how I let go of her, but most likely someone else showed up and I was awake enough to see a real live woman had advantages over a fantasy memory.
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