Sunday, June 12, 2011


Congressman Weiner was on a roll
until he suddenly fell down a hole.
Instead, he should have been on a bun,
not exposing his weird sense of fun.

The congressman from New York certainly has given punsters and comics (including me) a gift that keeps on giving. Us amateur psychologists could well ponder whether childhood teasing about his name led him to express suppressed anger in the form of that specific male body part, which he photographed and distributed to a number of women online.

Certainly, despite some apparently intelligent policy position papers (which I now suspect staffers wrote), the guy is definitely two or three condiments short of a good hotdog sandwich. Some of the evidence for this:

1. He went to a technical high school after failing by one point to gain admission to regular high school in Brooklyn.
2. He chose to chase media coverage relentlessly despite having an embarrassing fetish.
3. He used his real name.
4. He failed to understand the nature of the Internet, and particularly Facebook's almost non-existent privacy protection.
5. He made major denials when he knew there were at least six witnesses plus photographic evidence of his transgression.
6. He kept his own face on the photos, a face that only a mother could love, but anyone could recognize.

There's been lots of discussion lately about sex and politics amidst a number of such scandalous revelations. It is true that male politicians seem to have a sense of sexual entitlement. But I think it is more a sign of our still-repressed culture. They act like naughty little boys because in terms of sexual knowledge and maturity, they are little boys. Remember Bill Clinton? He made clumsy attempts at seduction that any grown woman would be likely to reject, or if dumb enough to accept, run straight to the tabloids and/or lawyers.

And then there are the self-righteous colleagues pointing their dirty fingers at the shame of it all. I suspect anyone who protests Weiner's actions too much. Also remember than many of Clinton's accusers, including Newt Gingrich, turned out to have much more serious marital transgressions going on.

My provocative solution for all this? Adopt the practice often observed in primitive cultures of having the tribe's elder women train boys in the arts of love and sex. Women are much more knowledgeable on this subject, and there are always more women surviving to a ripe old age than men--can anyone think of a better reason for this to be so?

I've learned over the years that the secret to success with women is to give them what they want--and that certainly isn't the kind of silly photos sent out by this sad congressman.

He used to be hot
but now he's cold
Let's hope the story
soon gets old
Weiner on a roll
Weiner on a bun
Came out too raw,
Now he's more than done.

On a more serious note (but not too serious I hope), check out my prosperity blog at:

No comments: