Saturday, July 21, 2012


This post is certain to piss some people off, but since those who believe in conspiracy theories are usually pissed off anyway, I don't suppose it matters.

It is amazing to me that in this high tech, instant communication world we now inhabit, millions of undereducated, ignorant, and naive individuals believe in far-fetched conspiracy theories and plots. The massacre at the Batman screening in Aurora, Colorado is just the latest to provide fodder for these lizard-brained, monkey mind folks (Am I being offensive enough?).  

What is most shocking is that the lone gunman involved, by all accounts, seemed a rational human being. But just as shocking are the theories being proposed and promoted by seemingly rational bloggers and others. That the U.S. government is behind it all, that the FBI has been enlisted to cause this mass shooting to influence the coming UN debate on small arms control. Or that it is part of the non-American President Obama's plan to take all guns away from private citizens before installing sharia law nationwide. 

One of my comments that really upset the conspiracy aficionados was my suggestion that the paranoia exhibited by the "Washington is going to take away my 2nd Amendment right to bear assault rifles." crowd should disqualify those folks from being able to buy guns just on mental stability grounds.

Here's my difficulty accepting almost all conspiracy theories, as a former journalist and investigative reporter, and especially in today's 24/7 news cycle. It has been my experience that once a secret is shared by more than one person, it is almost impossible for it to remain a secret. JFK was not killed by Lee Harvey Oswald alone? Do you realize how many people would have had to keep that secret now for almost fifty years? To resist selling their story for potentially millions of dollars? Even cults like Scientology don't enjoy that kind of 100% loyalty. It isn't that I don't believe conspiracies are possible, just unsustainable because of human nature. 

Then there's the politics of it all. Do you really believe all FBI agents are Democrats (or Republicans or even Independents)? So if there was a plot carried out by the FBI under orders from the current Administration, surely one Republican agent would leak the true facts. And surely the NRA, with its many millions it uses to wage anti-gun control campaigns, would pay millions to any individual who could provide proof that this was all a government plot aimed at eliminating private gun ownership. 

But the attraction of these harebrained theories will persist, simply because it is hard to convince those holding them of their silliness--even hard facts get lumped in as part of the whole evil plot. I suspect that people who today believe in many of the most delusional conspiracy theories were absolutely convinced monsters lived under their childhood beds.

As to guns, I believe they should all be destroyed and we should return to a more organic, natural way to settle disputes and threats. Bring back clubs and spears and slingshots. If they were good enough for biblical times, they are good enough for me!

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